Please Help Me!!!!! How do I stop the abuse?
Okay, this is complicated so this is gonna be long I'm sure. Here's the question: How do I stop my mother's verbal, emotional, mental abuse? The circumstances and explaination: So I'm 21 years old, and I've been severely ill for five years. Since I was 17 years old. My illness is one that belongs on Mystery Diagnosis or whatever. The doctors have found many different diagnoses but there are still many things unexplained and untreated symptoms. I personally believe that all the different diagnoses connect, and are in fact not different, but all the cause of ONE disease. Unfortunately noone can figure that out and in the meantime I'm completely disabled and struggling to live. They have so far found that I have Gastroperesis, IGG3 (an autoimmune disorder), "Fibromyalgia", IBS, and my bones are deteriorating in my body, but most especially in my back where my MRI scans show "the back of an 80 year old". That's the medical part. The way it plays out in symptoms is severe vomiting and diarrhea that keeps me dehydrated and in the hospital, severe pain when ANYTHING touches me ANYWHERE, severe pain in my back and legs that will not ever go away no matter what and that makes it VERY hard to move and walk. And never-ending sinus and other infections since I have no immunity. *sigh* So, as you can imagine life is hard, both for me and my mother who has to deal with me. Also, this is very draining financially despite my insurance. I finally got approved for Social Security a few months ago, but it is not much help, and my mom doesn't make enough money working as a secretary to pay the bills. And she didn't go to college, so she can't find another job, plus she has her own health problems. As you can imagine this is very stressful and we have no family that will help. So my mom has a right to be stressed and I try to understand, but lately she has been so horrible I can't stay out of the hospital because of the stress on me. She is ALWAYS screaming at me, calling me a fat bitch (even though I gained weight from this illness only and she knows how hard I cry about being fat) and stupid, ugly, evil, horrible, a burden, she says she wishes I would just let go and die. She says she can't handle me anymore and I'm just a worthless bitch. She wishes me dead a lot like I said. I mean a LOT. She even accuses ME of being abusive if I say anything in response to all this. Even if I say please stop, she yells and says that I have no right to tell her what to do. And whenever she's not abusing me, she says all sweetly "Well you were just acting soo psycho last night, throwing a tantrum and going to bed, I wish you'd stop being so abusive to me" And the reason I went to bed was to make her shut up. And if I try to tell her she's doing this, she says it's just in response to MY ABUSE! If I try to ask her what I did wrong so I don't do it again she says "you're just beating a dead horse to death and trying to start a fight. You always want to fight" And when I have gotten her to admit she called me names and stuff she says she's stressed and it's my fault. And when I tell her I think it'd be best for me to go in a home or something she says I'm abandoning her after she spent all her money on me. And she'll steal my medicine and say that I can leave but she paid for the medicine so it stays. If I try to tell her that's illegal she says no its my right to treat you how I want. I don't know what to do! Im scared and lost and lonely. I have many case here that I raised and it would kill me to leave them. Just the thought shatters me because they're the only reason I continue to fight to live. And I need them, without them I'd rather die than live because I have literally NOONE AND NOTHING without them. I don't want to have to leave my home and them. *sob* how do I get this to stop? What can I do? What am I doing to make her treat me this way? How can I stop? PLEASE HELP ME SOMEONE!!!!! Im scared the stress of this is gonna kill me soon. The doctors say
my health is getting worse. I see a psychiatrist for stress and depression but the meds don't help when she starts in. And maybe it IS my fault. Am I being abusive? I don't get it. PLEASE HELP ME MAKE IT STOP!!!!! Please help me so I don't have to leave my home and animals because I think it would kill me and I have NO FAMILY but her. God please help me!
cats not case. And I have told the pyschiatrist some of it and he says its a stressful situation. But I don't tell him how bad it is because I don't want her to get in trouble. She has done a lot to help me and she is abusive and crazy I feel, but how could I possibly betray her by getting her in trouble? I would rather leave, but she doesn't want me to. Like I said she takes my stuff and throws a fit and I don't know what to do because I can't disrespect or abandon her no matter how bad because she does spend all her money on my medical bills. So I don't know what to do I just want it to stop before it kills me.
Oh trust me all my cats are fixed. The neighbors did NOT feel the need to either fix nor care for theirs which is how I have my cats. And now THEIR cats are also-thanks to us. As for my father- he was a PHYSICALLY abusive alcoholic. He makes WELL OVER six figures a year. He just bought my sister a Lexus actually. But he won't help me in any way. He has always hated me as I was the one who hit back. And got him arrested many times for his abuse. So I am disowned. He LOVES that I'm sick. He hates me. And I'm not imagining this. He says this. Yes, I know. What an AMAZING family. Oh and that sister- yea she abandoned me and mom for dad and wont even accept my calls. AMAZING family. Oh, and the grandpa that served as my father, he's completely senile. Grandma is no longer with us. That's the family.
Public Comments
1. sorry, its too long... Please short it.2. Have the doctors check to see if you are being poisoned.
3. DRINK WATER 8 CUPS A DAY i know its sounds like nah I can do that anyday but no that happend to a good friend of mine no doctor could sovle it but one doctor did and he said drink 8 cups of water a day so he did now the dude is doing great keep doing that untile it heals.P.S. DONT WORRY SHES A FUCKING FAT ASS bich be careful honey *hugs* and *smiles*
4. The only thing that I know about your situation is what you are saying. You should take into consideration that your mom is under a lot of stress herself, because she is doing all that she can for you. Being a mom myself if I had a child in your condition I would think that something I did while I was pregnant or something in my genes was what caused you to be that way. I would talk to your mother and ask if she would talk with a family counselor with you to see if you could work things out. I am sure that your mother really loves you and doesn't mean a lot of what she says in anger. I hope for the best for you sweetie
5. it is not your fault! you cant help that there is something wrong with you and nobody knows what it is. have you talked to your psychiatrist about what is going on at home? maybe they can help you. you need to be in a stress free environment to be able to relax, rest and try to get better!
6. Sorry to hear about this. It is not your fault that you are sick.
First of all, take a deep breath. I too have a weird disease that was ignored and s misdiagnosed by doctors until I went to a specialist.
Secondly, it is good you have been approved for SSI. That will help.
Thirdly, please have your cats fixed so that they can't make any more babies. That will help a lot. They have free clinics that will do that for you. Look up in the telephone book.
Do you have a lock on your door ? If not, get one installed. You need to have a private place that you can go to to chill out and have some alone time.
You and your Mom are reacting differently to the stress of your illness.
You need to have outside resources to lean on during this time, especially since you have no family. You did not mention your Dad. Is he around ?
Peace.
